Martin Powell - blogging a dead horse

After I split properly with my now ex wife, I found being away from my son so much really tested me. The change wasn’t elected and was forced on my by the way my relationship ended. He was removed from my daily exisitance for no reason other than the fact me and her couldn’t live together. She got most of the furniture, my car, most of my pride and worst of all, my son. I had to deal with this. First thought I was being punished for something I didn’t do but then I realised that it was more about him than me and quite rightly so.  I was restricted to 24 hours a week at his mother’s behest. I was told it was all I could expect as a separated dad as the mother was the best place for a lad of his age. I couldn’t see how this was best for him. I could see that his mother  was projecting all her feelings onto him but I couldn’t do anything about it.

The facts are grim. I don’t know who his friends are,  I’m not there when he comes home after getting any praise at school in fact I’ve only met his teacher once. I’m not there when he is learning to read or write or to ride his bike.  I’m not there when he is ill and I’ll only find out about these things as and when his mum decides I can know. It kills me every time I take him back and struggle with the fact it’s supposed to be the right thing.

Having been through a tumultuous time separating from her, a lot of my time was spent trying to make sure that my son was kept as happy as possible, however I could. I was aware that I miss out on a lot especially as she has “moved on” but the time we have together is now so precious and I think  we have a stronger bond now then we had before the split. I can’t say what would have happened if we had stayed together (Probably nothing positive) but I am convinced that becoming part-time dad made me a better dad.

It was oh so hard at first, he would get away with everything because I was so scared about upsetting him and him not enjoying his time with me and not wanting to come back. I realised this and had to ground myself and soon he made this possible. He made a drawing of me at school and carried it with him until he could give it to me on the Friday evening when I picked him up. If he was thinking of me in school and thinks enough of me to give me that then he knows I am his dad and I always will be. Despite his mother’s attempts to replace me, nothing can change that.

I needed support to deal with it all and have some amazing friends and family who don’t always tell me what I want to hear, but they will always let me vent and they are always there. This is so important to me. This is how I cope.

Keeping the bond with my son… that’s a bit more complicated. Currently I only have one day a week and I am fighting for more. I don’t officially get any holiday time, his mum has deemed it “unsuitable” for him so until I get the system to deal with that impartially, I do my best by him. I initially fell into the trap of just buying him what he wanted but soon realised this wasn’t going to work and create a superficial feeling between us. His mum does this. It’s not going to help long term but there is nothing I can do about that just now. All I can do is be as influential in the short space of time that I have and build a lasting bond that is strong enough to make materialistic instinct superfluous.

We have a common love of superheroes and comic book heroes, Batman, Superman etc We can spend hours bonding over these cartoons and films, we get popcorn, turn the lights down, make it an event. We go to parks, play games and use every scrap of time we have together “being” together  I’m teaching him to tell the time, tie his laces, play rugby (Probably something I would never have done when with his mum). I include him in everything, he helps me cook, he helps me work on the car. Being self-employed, sometimes I have to take him with me to see clients which he really enjoys. We play rock music in the car and do air guitar. We go for trips out- not always an option due to cash or the fact his mother likes to control this but the important thing is we do it together.  I take him shopping and generally involve him with all aspects of my life so his impression of me and life is a real one. No pretence just real experience. He soaks it up like a sponge.

Lately I have had a hard time seeing her as suitable to be his full time mum but I know that taking rash, reactive measures will be more damaging long term than working towards a better solution. I probably wouldn’t have done this 5 years ago and rushed straight in with all guns blazing which would have done no-one any favours. Boy have I learnt. I am not negative about his mum when he is around despite the temptation.  I won’t be the negative one, I don’t want him to carry any negative thoughts from me or use him like this. He will see this one day and hopefully respect me for it.

I would be lying if I considered this all to be positive. There have been times when I’ve been close to walking away, when I get low or it’s difficult with the business and sometimes, even my health I think that he would be better off without me but the fact is he wouldn’t. He needs me and I need him, he is the biggest reason I have to keep going. There are some really fantastic people who I have got to know since my split that have kept me focused, grounded me, opened my eyes to other views, pushed me, and made me stronger. I am a better person for these people being in my life. The friends and family that have stuck with me through he spilt also share this burden for me, making me stronger still. Without these people I wouldn’t have got this far and there are going to be far more challenges along the road but I know that I will smash them because of what I’ve learnt and the support I have had.

What also drives me is the fact I know I’m not the only person in the world experiencing this but the main reason I get up in the morning…is  my little one needs me and I need him.

I wish I was in a position to say that despite the issues me and my ex have, we both understand that he needs us both and can put our differences aside for the benefit of our son, but Rome wasn’t built overnight and it’s work in progress. I’ll continue to work towards this with all my heart until we get what is going to be best for him, whatever that looks like.

I have come to realise that a Dad’s job is the best job in the world.

I can never understand what type of a man, forces the mother of their children to have to fight to get them to take the ownership of their kid’s lives the way I am trying to. It’s obvious why men can get a bad name and it then becomes so difficult to say  to the system “Hey I want to be with my son and be a positive influence on his life so help me make this happen” when there are so many poor examples out there with no regard for anyone except themselves.

As separated dads we can set the example. We need to get on the pitch and play. In this job you can’t just sit in the stands.  Not even the bench is good enough for them.

I am playing.

The full game.

And I will win.

Install them all.

Display them all. 

At once. Sometimes twice. Apparently it can take a “while” to boot…

Going forward into the digitally convergent world, more and more emphasis is put onto how digitally aware we all are. Everywhere, “Digital Inclusion” is seen as a way of reducing operating costs and getting more up to date, relevant information out to those that need it. However, a lot of people still feel uncomfortable with using technology, perhaps not having had any involvement earlier in life or any opportunity now the digital world is knocking the door.

As society in general continues down the wireless road on the digital bus there is a risk that those who can’t or won’t will be at a disadvantage to those that embrace the binary tide. Individuals will miss out socially, businesses will waste opportunities to become more efficient and effective which in turn threatens jobs making the gap between the aware and unaware even greater.

All the initatives I have seen so far to combat this have fallen far short of where they need to be. They don’t really cover any of the really big “buy in” stuff, they don’t seem to answer the “why should I be bothered”…

This needs to change. It’s not as simple as giving certain groups access to the web either in their homes or in the community (Although this is pretty important), it needs to stretch to winning the hearts and minds of Joe Public. It’s needs to get them involved with it all and makign sure the know how to, where too and what to.

No point in throwing a 3 year old a set of tools and getting him to build his own bike out of the box (I know, I tried…), You need to work with him so he learns and gets something more than a working bike out of the experiance. You need to create value in the whole package.

The people who can need to be the catalyst with this. The world can only get better for this.

I had to check just incase you know, however it turned out to be Peter Gabriel from 4Networking. Equally glad to have that Peter Gabriel following CVCW but for a moment there I thought I had a sledgehammer…

Getting a lot of these and it seems to have mutated slightly in that the last one I had in through some process (Either as a result of user or malware action) pooched the operating system and the part table :(

Result - New OS install!

Best avoided this one as the infection is really only completed when you click on the “product”. Don’t do it. It will 0wn your machine.

Full details below. Call us if you need help getting rid of this.

——————————————

Antivirus GT or sometimes called as AntivirusGT is a fake anti-malware program that will disguse as anti-virus and anti-spyware for Windows operating system. It originated from the same group who spearheaded the spread of Antivirus 7. This type of software is being distributed through the Internet using different channels. A malicious web site pretending to be an online virus scanner can download Antivirus GT automatically on visitors computer via drive-by-download method. File-sharing networks, instant messaging programs and spam email messages can also contribute to the propagation of this unwanted application. With this mentioned, make sure that all cautions when clicking on link, opening email attachments and installing executable files are being taken with cautious. 

If Antivirus GT is installed on the computer, a modification will be made to the system registry and make it start automatically with Windows operating system. A virus scan is performed and displays a very fast scan results detecting dozens of threats. Fake warning alerts will continuously pop-up on the screen stating that computer is infected. One sample alert will have this message:

AntivirusGT Resident Shield: Virus Detected
Warning! Active virus detected!
Threat Detected: Trojan.Injector.BZ
Infected File: C:\Windows\System32\rundll32.exe

 It will prompt user to get rid of these viruses by getting the full version of Antivirus GT. Following this advise will just scam users and no protection or virus removal will be made. After all, this rogue program has no capability to perform as an antivirus program because it is lack of necessary application and database to do so.

Critical Information:

Files added by Antivirus GT virus
Windows registry entries created by Antivirus GT

Alias: AntivirusGT, AV GT

Damage Level: Medium

Systems Affected: Windows 9x, 2000, XP, Vista, Windows 7

Antivirus GT Removal Procedures

Manual Removal:
1. Stop Antivirus GT process by pressing Ctrl+Alt+Del. Windows Task Manager will open. Look for the following process:
antivirus GT.exe
avgt.exe

2. Update your installed anti-virus program.
3. Run a full system scan and clean/delete all detected infected file(s). A manual removal of virus-related files should also be performed.
4. Edit Windows registry and delete Antivirus GT entries. [how to edit registry]
5. Exit registry editor.
6. Remove Antivirus GT start-up entry by going to Start > Run, type msconfig on the “Open” dialog box. System Configuration Utility will open. Go to Startup tab and uncheck the following Startup item(s):
antivirus GT.exe
avgt.exe

7. Click Apply and restart the computer.

Antivirus GT Removal Tool:
In order to completely remove the threat from a computer, it is best to download and run Malwarebytes Anti-Malware. Sometimes, Trojans will block the downloading and installation of MBAM. If this happens, download it from a clean computer and rename the executable file before executing on the infected computer.

Technical Details and Additional Information:

While Antivirus GT still resides on the system, a continuous pop-up alert messages will be displayed to scare computer users and hope that they will be able to purchase the licensed version. Some of this alerts may contain these statement:

Resident Shield: New virus detected
Warning! New virus detected
Please click “Remove All” button to heal all infected files and protect your PC

Internet Shield: Identity theft attempt detected
112.58.55.78
Warning! Identity theft attempt detected
Please click “Prevent attack” button to heal all infected files and protect your PC

Security advisor: Important updates available
Attention! New important updates available
Always install latest updates to enhance your computer security and performance 

Malicious Files Added by Antivirus GT:
c:\Documents and Settings\All Users\Start Menu\AVGT
c:\Documents and Settings\All Users\Start Menu\AVG\Antivirus GT.lnk
c:\Documents and Settings\All Users\Start Menu\AVG\Uninstall.lnk
c:\Program Files\AVGT
c:\Program Files\AVGT\Antivirus GT.exe
c:\WINDOWS\SoftwareDistribution\DataStore\Logs\tmp.edb
c:\WINDOWS\system32\UpdateExplorer.dll
%UserProfile%\Desktop\Antivirus GT.lnk

Antivirus GT Registry Entries:
HKEY_CURRENT_USER\Software\EVA246
HKEY_CLASSES_ROOT\CLSID\{E2BFE352-A303-4EA8-88FE-CE35361D7E8B}
HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SOFTWARE\Microsoft\Windows\CurrentVersion\Explorer\Browser Helper Objects\{E2BFE352-A303-4EA8-88FE-CE35361D7E8B}
HKEY_CURRENT_USER\Software\Microsoft\Windows\CurrentVersion\Run “AVGT”
HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SOFTWARE\Microsoft\Windows\CurrentVersion\Internet Settings\5.0\User Agent\Post Platform “WinNT-EVI 12.03.2010″

I found out I passed my ITIL v3 today. I am well stoked about this as it means I now have some professional qualifications to back up the business and the future. Just waiting on the Prince2 results now :0

I am getting tired of having to alter your buggy html by hand. If had wanted to do it like that I would be using VIM.

Please get a clue and stop making work for me!

After two weeks of trading I have just been going through the pricing and a few other issues we have had to make sure things are a bit more consistant going forward and i noticed a strange thing…

I decided (As part of the pricing review) to take another good look at all the competition websites just ot make sure I wasn’t shooting myself in the foot and found… 4-5 of them with “under construction” pages sewn into the index page.

One of them came back an hour later with prices and offers…mysteriously like ours…

Wonder if the rest of them are reacting the same way. Bit of a shame I have made quite a few changes this evening so it will be good to monitor over the next two weeks.

Gotta love having an impact ;)

Ok, I love Pink Floyd. Even the really dodgy just post Barrett but pre DSOM stuff I love it. I love the RW solo stuff too. So when I saw that he is doing a Wall tour (And I look at this as probably the LAST chance to see this like this) I was quite excited.

So I went hunting for tickets and unfortunately I found them.

When I went to see Pink Floyd in 1994 I paid £48 for my ticket. This included a coach from Newport to Earls Court in London and back and I was gutted about spending that. When I see that tickets to see The Wall in the O2 are the ridiculous cost of £65 for the cheap seats I almost feel ill.

I wondered why when I asked around if anyone wanted to go, I had no response. These people weren’t being rude, it was just the only way they could avoid telling me I was stark raving bonkers if I was contemplating spending this amount of hard earned cash on a gig.

Even if it is RW doing The Wall.

I wonder if I could sell something… ?

I really do.

Now, I consider myself to be one of the early internet adopters. Sure, my time doesn’t go right back to the start but back far enough to remember having to have ISP software on discs so you could pay 20p per minute for a 33k connection. I remember ripping mp3’s (No one else used them….) and it taking all day to do one disc at 96k bit rate. I remember everyone saying it would never catch on and when 90% of privately owned sites were hosted on Geocities…

Despite this, I am never failed by the fact I can periodically always find something that will make me say “wow” (In a good way or bad way). Today it’s this

http://www.toolsforhealing.com

Now can anyone tell me if this would exisit if it wasn’t for the internet?